"Law and Order" or "How I Live in the Hood of East Harlem, yet got robbed on the Upper West Side in my Private Preparatory School"

After school today about 4:15 I am sitting in the 3rd floor faculty lounge talking with two other teachers. The door is halfway open. A woman pops her head in like she is looking for someone. I asked her, "May we help you with something?"

"Have you seen a little boy?"

"No, what's his name?"

"Joshua." after a split second - "Joshua McCoy."

"No. Sorry."

She leaves. Ten seconds later the PE teacher Sue comes in and asks us, "What did that lady want?" We tell her. Sue says, "I just saw her coming out of Jackie's (Administrator) Office, and I think something is shady about her."

So Sue and Fred (another teacher) go looking around the school to see if she is up to something. Guess what? They find her on the FIFTH floor going into someone's office! When she sees them, she grabs a bunch of tissues and acts like she's blowing her nose. Sue says to her, "You are not supposed to be up here. Let us take you downstairs." So they get in the elevator and take her to the lobby to question her. She is still insisting that she's "looking for Joshua." In someone's office. Right.

In the meantime, another teacher, Melissa, and I decide to go up to the fourth floor and check our belongings. Wouldn't you know that I hadn't closed my closet shut all the way. I check in my bag. My $25 cash is GONE. Nothing else. Just cash. I meet Melissa back on the third floor - she's missing $60. We head down to the lobby.

In the lobby, Fred and Sue have just let this lady go, as they can't hold her for anything. The front desk lady/security insists that this lady did not go past her. So - I shall call the criminal Slippery Slick Sally, or "S-Cubed" - has obviously been watching our school and knows when the small lobby is filled with students going home from after school programs with their babysitters and nannies (remember this is a prep. school, so all children have nannies. Well, actually, some of them have drivers that pick them up. Seriously. Or helicopters. But that is another story). So "S-Cubed" slipped right on by security.

Next, our security lady calls across the street to the other building to let them know about this lady (there are actually 5 buildings of our school). Guess what?? Even after all of that, she has just gone into the other building, claiming she's looking for Joshua!! The nerve - now you know why I call her "S-Cubed".

Vinnie the custodian goes up the stairs in the other building, finds her, and brings her down to the lobby. We have all headed over there, me with my wallet open - no money. She is still insisting. Finally, she reaches her breaking point (we have already called NYPD, by the way). She tries to push past us. We won't let her. She tries again. Her shirt gets ripped. She busts out the door and down the street.

Now here's where it gets even better. Seriously. She goes INTO THE MIDDLE OF CENTRAL PARK WEST, which is a two-way highway parallel to Central Park and goes running down the middle of the street! Vinnie goes running after her. She's in flip-flops, for Pete's sake - how is she running that fast?

What really irritates me is that my toenail polish got messed up in the chase.

And here is where she TRULY lives up to her name. After we give up the chase, she stops in the middle of the road at a stop light, bangs on this car and begs them to let her in, telling them that her boyfriend has beaten her up and she needs to get away. I guess it was the ripped shirt that convinced the two ladies in the car - they let her in. Now that is what I call quick thinking. I will definitely use that excuse if I ever need to get away quickly.

Unlucky for her, the cops saw her get in, got the license plate, and stopped them at W. 110th Street (we were at W. 93rd Street). Sue and I get into the police car and got to go down and identify her. These poor ladies that picked her up are just sitting in their car shell shocked, thinking they were being good citizens and helping a girlfriend out.

We stopped traffic! There were seven cop cars! I was in the back of the NYPD car with the lights flashing and the sirens going. I cannot tell you how cool I feel.

So we identified her, then headed to the police station, where we hear the story about her flagging down the car. The cops are now relaxing (and mighty cute, LET. ME. TELL. YOU). They sit us in desk chairs (which I found to be quite ironic), and we retell the story of "S-Cubed". There is so much more bantering that goes on with Cute Cool Cop - "C-Cubed" I shall call him - but that is too much to write

So she has been arrested on Criminal Trespassing. We may have to testify.

And somewhere along the road is my $25 - because they searched her and it's not there. Maybe the two ladies that picked her up are having a nice dinner because "S-Cubed" dropped the money in their car. Maybe you will see me running down the middle of CPW looking for my money. That money was for my dinner tonight!

"C-Cubed (Cute, Cool Cop, if you don't remember)" took Sue and I back to school in the cop car.
He let me ride shotgun.

He even let me turn on the lights.

And - when turning the corner to my school, he let me turn on the siren.

Finally - Sue took a picture of he and I in front of the cop car. Always thinking of my scrapbook, I am.

Just another ordinary day in the life of a new New Yorker.